Now, let's go back to the beginning!

I felt like I needed more sleep than most growing teenagers and had a few health issues that have been linked to Hypothyroidism, but always assumed that I was just tired. Heading into my twenties and motherhood, I needed even more sleep and started into a further depression than I'd had in my teen years. At that point, I hated myself, because I couldn't be like all the other moms and was thought to be lazy and depressed. '....and isn't that something you can overcome, just get over it? Other people do, why can't you?' It was a very emotionally difficult time for me, because I had zero self esteem and felt bad about myself and my level of motherhood. So, looking back over my health and brain issues, I could have had hypothyroid at a young age. But who knows?

The research that I have done states that Hypothyroid is very often misdiagnosed and mistaken for other health issues. Then you are stuck taking a myriad of pills for many health issues, that could possibly be solved with a proper diagnosis. But, it is often missed by Doctors and not usually thought of right away...it seems to be an afterthought. When I had blood work done, I had low iron and that is why I was tired. Very valid, but not the core issue. With that being said, I had never been tested for it until recently....but I think I have possibly had it a long time. :]

Here is how it all started, however. About 3 years ago, I started to feel like there was always something stuck in my throat. I had a hard time swallowing sometimes and had the feeling of things being stuck. I also had very bad acid reflux and just attributed it to that...I'd burned my throat and it was just irritated. My throat felt the same for the last 3 years. The major change came about 8 months ago. I started to feel the thing in my throat getting bigger, it was clearly turning into a lump in my throat and at a rapid pace. Taking into account that it had stayed the same for 3 years...or longer. It was growing, was becoming more irritating, I was having a harder time swallowing, it had started to restrict my airway, and was starting to have some pain. I was also sleeping almost constantly. Like sometimes 18 hours a day...never less than 10-12, though. My poor children became very independent. ;] The exhaustion that comes with Hypothyroid is debilitating! There is no way to describe the utter exhaustion. And I had no idea why I felt this way...I just knew I felt like crap! It didn't matter where I was, I was so exhausted that I wanted to lie down on the floor...dirty, or not! Haha! So, after about 6 months of feeling this way, I decided it was bad enough to go see a Doctor.

I went to my Doctor appointment and I was ready for it this time. I made a list of all the things that were wrong with me. I had 17 things on my list! Unfortunately, my Doctor was not in and I had to see the PA. I went through my list with him and he said, "Oh, it just sounds like you need some Vit D!". I said, "But what about this lump in my throat?" He asked me to hop up on the table and proceeded to poke around my throat then said, "I don't feel any lump." I was sort of dumbfounded!! I had no response for him, I literally just stared at him. Haha! He said, "Let's start with some blood work." Which was fine with me, I'd get my bloodwork done and see my normal Doctor, whom I knew would help me figure this out. More about my Doctor visit next time.

My New Journey- Introduction

So, here I was...just living my life, then WHAM! My life as I new it was instantly changed. I found myself on a new journey, a new life! I was diagnosed with Papillary Thyroid Cancer on May 28, 2015. My ENT gave me a call and was very sweet and calm with his delivery of the news...which made me feel calm, as well.

I'd had a biopsy about 5 or 6 days before and so Jeff and I had been on pins and needles for a couple of days just waiting to hear some news. Did I, or did I not have Cancer? After I talked to the Doctor for a few minutes, I went into the bedroom where Jeff was and matter of factly stated, "It's Cancer. I have Papillary Thyroid Cancer." We both looked at each other, stunned and didn't say anything for a minute or two. Of course we hugged and exchanged words that loving couples do...and held each other tightly for a while, like that might somehow make it go away. At that time, I was still feeling very calm and feeling like, "Ok, I have Cancer, no biggie. I can do this. We can do this. It's in my body, there's nothing more to do. Let's just get it out. We can do this!"

We were unfortunately snapped quickly back into reality when we realized that we had to hustle to get Jeff to the airport, or he would miss his flight. Yes, he was leaving. We'd just received the most shocking news of our married life and he had to leave. It was heartbreaking. We finished up packing and started driving to the airport. Jeff said, "I can't believe you have Cancer!"...and then I don't remember us saying much else the entire drive. We just held hands the whole way there. It felt like a lifeline between us and was very comforting to me. When we got to the airport, I got out, while he got his luggage and then we stood there. Neither of us wanted to say goodbye. After what felt like minutes, we grabbed each other and hugged and hugged. Jeff travels a lot, so we don't usually do more than a quick kiss and a 'see ya later'. This time was different, we didn't want to say goodbye. I finally let go of him and let him leave. It was one of the harder moments for me. I felt like I needed my love with me during this crucial processing time, but there he went. Off to Kalamazoo, or Iowa, or Ohio...who knew, it didn't matter. It was just as hard for him to leave, as it was for me to watch him leave. I slowly walked back to my car and started the longest drive home ever! Haha!

On the way, I stopped at the Flying J to get a Pepsi and a cookie, cuz that makes everything better! :] They always have lots of interesting stuff at the Flying J. You can pretty much find anything you might need or want there. Haha! I wasn't really in a hurry to get home, so I did some browsing. I found a simple, pretty ring and decided to buy it. I wanted it to symbolize my new journey, my new life and I hoped it would give me strength when I looked at it. Silliest place to buy jewelry, but I did it! Haha! I don't even care if it turns my finger green, I will wear it and remember the strength that I felt when I bought it.