I'd had a biopsy about 5 or 6 days before and so Jeff and I had been on pins and needles for a couple of days just waiting to hear some news. Did I, or did I not have Cancer? After I talked to the Doctor for a few minutes, I went into the bedroom where Jeff was and matter of factly stated, "It's Cancer. I have Papillary Thyroid Cancer." We both looked at each other, stunned and didn't say anything for a minute or two. Of course we hugged and exchanged words that loving couples do...and held each other tightly for a while, like that might somehow make it go away. At that time, I was still feeling very calm and feeling like, "Ok, I have Cancer, no biggie. I can do this. We can do this. It's in my body, there's nothing more to do. Let's just get it out. We can do this!"
We were unfortunately snapped quickly back into reality when we realized that we had to hustle to get Jeff to the airport, or he would miss his flight. Yes, he was leaving. We'd just received the most shocking news of our married life and he had to leave. It was heartbreaking. We finished up packing and started driving to the airport. Jeff said, "I can't believe you have Cancer!"...and then I don't remember us saying much else the entire drive. We just held hands the whole way there. It felt like a lifeline between us and was very comforting to me. When we got to the airport, I got out, while he got his luggage and then we stood there. Neither of us wanted to say goodbye. After what felt like minutes, we grabbed each other and hugged and hugged. Jeff travels a lot, so we don't usually do more than a quick kiss and a 'see ya later'. This time was different, we didn't want to say goodbye. I finally let go of him and let him leave. It was one of the harder moments for me. I felt like I needed my love with me during this crucial processing time, but there he went. Off to Kalamazoo, or Iowa, or Ohio...who knew, it didn't matter. It was just as hard for him to leave, as it was for me to watch him leave. I slowly walked back to my car and started the longest drive home ever! Haha!
On the way, I stopped at the Flying J to get a Pepsi and a cookie, cuz that makes everything better! :] They always have lots of interesting stuff at the Flying J. You can pretty much find anything you might need or want there. Haha! I wasn't really in a hurry to get home, so I did some browsing. I found a simple, pretty ring and decided to buy it. I wanted it to symbolize my new journey, my new life and I hoped it would give me strength when I looked at it. Silliest place to buy jewelry, but I did it! Haha! I don't even care if it turns my finger green, I will wear it and remember the strength that I felt when I bought it.
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